Picture this: you're planning your child's birthday party and excited to share your ideas with them. But when your child dismisses your ideas as "lame" and "terrible," you feel disappointed and hurt. You might even get angry and say things you later regret. It's easy to let our emotions get the best of us in these moments, but it's important to remember that we are not our feelings.
At Say NAI to Life, as a Peak Performance, Energy coach we help Entrepreneurs with families tap into their Highest Energetic Self to attract the Life they Desire.
As humans, we all experience a wide range of emotions, from joy and excitement to sadness and anger. Our emotions are a natural and valid part of our experience, but they do not define us. It's possible to feel angry without being an angry person, or to feel sad and still inspire others.
When we let our emotions leak into our identity, we risk reacting impulsively and saying or doing things we might later regret.
In the scenario with the birthday party, for example, getting angry and calling our child "ungrateful" might feel satisfying in the moment, but it does nothing to address the root issue or build a positive relationship with our child.
By, practicing emotional distinction we can acknowledge our feelings without allowing them to define who we are as individuals or parents.
By separating our emotions from our sense of self, we can respond to our children in a more thoughtful and intentional way. We can listen to their concerns, validate their feelings, and work together to find a solution that meets everyone's needs.
By having an awareness that our emotions do not define us, we can tap into our own Being and allow our selves to think and act in a way that is not controlled by our environment or our emotions.
When we practicing emotional distinction, we can acknowledge our feelings without letting them control us or leak into our sense of self. We can respond to our children in a more intentional and thoughtful way, building positive relationships and inspiring others through our experiences.
While we may separate our emotions from our identity, it's also important to recognize that our emotions are not always rational or accurate. Sometimes we may feel sad or angry about a situation, but with further reflection, we realize that our feelings were based on misunderstandings or false assumptions.
Taking the time to examine our emotions and the thoughts and beliefs that underlie them, we can gain greater clarity and perspective on our experiences.
One useful tool for practicing emotional distinction we use often with our clients is mindfulness.
Mindfulness involves bringing our full attention to the present moment without judgment or distraction. By becoming more aware of our thoughts and feelings in the moment, we can begin to separate ourselves from them and recognize them as passing experiences rather than defining aspects of who we are. Mindfulness can also help us to cultivate greater self-compassion and understanding, as we learn to observe and accept our emotions without getting caught up in them.
An important note while practicing emotional distinction is that this practice doesn't mean you are ignoring or suppressing your emotions. Emotions are a natural and necessary part of our human experience, and they can provide valuable information about our needs and desires.
Rather, I like to describe emotional distinction as bringing awareness to our emotions as temporary experiences that arise in response to external or internal issues and choosing how we want to respond to them.
In the example of the parent and child discussing birthday plans, the parent could have taken a step back and recognized that their anger was a response to their own expectations and assumptions, rather than the child's actions.
By practicing emotional distinction, the parent could have acknowledged their anger as a passing feeling and responded in a more compassionate and constructive way.
Practicing emotional distinction can help us to cultivate a greater self-awareness and compassion for self and others. Recognizing that we are not our emotions, we can learn to navigate life's ups and downs with greater clarity and ease.
With daily practices/exercises, we can learn to separate ourselves from our emotions and cultivate greater self-awareness and compassion.
If you need help with not allowing your emotions to leak in your Being or how I like to say wearing feelings on our sleeves, please reach out at @Say NAI to Life